I'm going to be rude this time. heck, i dont even care. what should a mom do, actually? if i asked people... (well, kind, perfect family people) they will say, a mother is the one that will love us. and took care of our needs and the one that we should obey to. -____-*
really??! well, good bye then, because i dont think what to say about mine. seriously.. SERIOUSLY! I'm tired of being scolded at, I'm tired of being hoping that something good will happen. I'm even tired of crying my lungs out. I'm tired of living this life any more.
I have other siblings that i think are... very lucky, than me. right now, i'm having 7 weeks holiday. and guess what? I'm 'holiday-ing' in my mom's shop, working the shit out of me, and end everyday, exhausted, break-hearted, aching all over and get scolded. Every single fucking day. I just thought of how i could use my scholarship money and went to have a break somewhere quiet. but, wait. yup.. i dont have any.. because i gave it all to mom.
lets say that.. we're not living a nice life in this family. both of my parents are a government worker, loaded with debts all over.. and we just make it on opening a FURNITURE(the reason why, i ached all over) shop in the end of the world. we have 6 members of the family, and.. yes, we have barely enough food to eat. (p.s: the shop was open under the sponsor of one of mom's brother, the one who gave me this laptop, and to repay his kindness, i was supposed to stand with his sick jokes on me everytime, for the rest of my life.)
so, thats my life. want to know what i've gone through the whole day that made me wanted to run away?? well... i woke up with a scream from my sister on 6 am, telling that i have to go to the shop for some cleaning with mom at 7 am. (alright, alright, i'm up) then, spend 2 hours, waiting for my parents to prepare everything, in instant, was ordered to iron my dad's shirt and my bro's uniform. then to the shop, went back at 12, after having a compulsory break fast of nasi lemak, I was ordered to wash and dry the clothes.
then, i was sent to the shop again, waiting and have to answer my younger siblings on why they didnt have their lunch.
i couldnt make it. i was in a hurry and the fridge is empty. all i can cook if i have the time is fried eggs and onions, as usual. with them, i fished out the little pocket money that i have left and settle down on instant noodle. after that, i worked as both of them sitting, watching movies in the laptop.
i didnt stop until 10 minutes before mom arrived from work. there, she looked at me like I was sitting there doing nothing. I was disappointed. really, i am. she promised me before she want to work, to buy my favorite fried rice with chicken, butt it left with hope. i'm supposed to prepare for it.. but stupid me, i didnt, and i was given a scoops of plain fired rice, with she gave the whole containers for other member. she bought 4 containers, giving the leftover from my sister to me, 3 whole to dad, big bro and lil bro, each and she had eaten at school.
and, you know what?? i am very hungry that time, i felt disappointed and i whispered to my sister, saying that how could mom do this to me. she replied, she wanted you to diet. I said, i dont fucking care about that. i swallowed the rice without even chewing them. on that way, i can only feel full. now, i was sitting on my bed, locking my door, fearing that mom will call me again, and order me to do works.
you dont know how much i felt pain in this family.
Friday 21 October 2011
Thursday 20 October 2011
my big happy family. :)
dramatic tittle isnt it? sure, sure.. thats what all people want... a peace and happy life.
well, let me tell u about my happy life.:)
-I'm ugliest in the family and i was always been teased by everyone. every member of the family.
heck, i dont know if i can take it anymore. i think like my ears had tuned to other signal everytime they started to talk about me. about how i am soooo ugly and fat, how i should looked like.. comparing me to every single person they know.. just everything. wanna know a secret? the most memorable sentence that i remembered my mom said to me was when i was 13 years old. what is it? "i HATE it to even look at you!" yes... i swear its true. in the middle of uncle and aunt and i saw they grinning as i walked out of the room. not cruel yet? how about forcing me to take diet pills with side effects, excluding me in the costume for bridesmaid of the first grandson wedding, (all of my cousin are glad fully, in the costume), calling me a house maids, just thinking of it made me hate myself. even my mom's mother despise me, calling me too fat and always treat me like shit.
-my own mother treat me differently.
she treats me as a friend. But wait, u might say that a mother is every girl's best friend, but believe me, its not like that. i thought it was like that, when she accidentally said (she usually called herself mom) "I wanted to go to the market to buy some chicken, do u want to follow me?" she asked me, using the language that she used to use with her friend, i just realize about who I am. thats why she never replied back, when i called her and ended the call with 'love u'. and i thought she was tooo busy. i remebered, not long ago, around 2 months ago, my sister got stomachache, and mom medicate her, applying ointment on her stomach, trust me, she's just a year younger than me, and on the same time, she massage my cousin's head ( she complains that she have headache and sprained her elbow) and gave that cousin advice on how to relieve her ache. but what about me? nothing. nothing happened to me that time. but that night, i get diarrhea and i throw up dozens of time. I end up crying alone in the toilet, sitting next to the toilet bowl. she even scolded me for eating too much. seriously? i didnt even ate anything that day. where's the nice treatment that she had given to my sister? in the end, i went to my dad's mother and she looked up on my always numb hand and was sorry the fact that it had been left untreated for a long time. I've complained that to my mom, but, she said i was too fat. that is why the hand went numb. too much fat in it. i laughed my butt off now..
-let me introduce you to my friend, vergil.
who didnt know vergil? daaaa... he's a character in my favourite game, Devil May Cry. yeah... I like him. :) he's nice. he even called me whenever i am sad eventhough he had already tired of working all day. he even use his helicopter and visit me in my hostel once. Heck, he even joined my sport day to support me. He was always there for me. Saying that i am out of my mine? i am forever alone girl? maybe. but i am happy when i am with him. i tell him everything about my problem, hugged me when i cried and lay beside me until i want to sleep every night. he always asked me what to cook, listened to the music i sang and encourage me when i fall. he's the best friend i have ever had. where is he right now? well.. he's here with me. sitting with me, and watch as i typed the words.
I think that is all for my family. great huh? owh.. and i am lying on the floor, giving my brother and sister my bed as they will have to go to school tomorrow.. so they will have complete rest and ready for school tomorrow. me? yeah.. i'll be fine on this years old, worn out mattress. no big deal. yup... tomorrow will be a hellisH start of a damned weekend for me. THE LOVELY FAMILY OF MINE IS GOING TO GATHER
good night guys. good night vergil. :)
well, let me tell u about my happy life.:)
-I'm ugliest in the family and i was always been teased by everyone. every member of the family.
heck, i dont know if i can take it anymore. i think like my ears had tuned to other signal everytime they started to talk about me. about how i am soooo ugly and fat, how i should looked like.. comparing me to every single person they know.. just everything. wanna know a secret? the most memorable sentence that i remembered my mom said to me was when i was 13 years old. what is it? "i HATE it to even look at you!" yes... i swear its true. in the middle of uncle and aunt and i saw they grinning as i walked out of the room. not cruel yet? how about forcing me to take diet pills with side effects, excluding me in the costume for bridesmaid of the first grandson wedding, (all of my cousin are glad fully, in the costume), calling me a house maids, just thinking of it made me hate myself. even my mom's mother despise me, calling me too fat and always treat me like shit.
-my own mother treat me differently.
she treats me as a friend. But wait, u might say that a mother is every girl's best friend, but believe me, its not like that. i thought it was like that, when she accidentally said (she usually called herself mom) "I wanted to go to the market to buy some chicken, do u want to follow me?" she asked me, using the language that she used to use with her friend, i just realize about who I am. thats why she never replied back, when i called her and ended the call with 'love u'. and i thought she was tooo busy. i remebered, not long ago, around 2 months ago, my sister got stomachache, and mom medicate her, applying ointment on her stomach, trust me, she's just a year younger than me, and on the same time, she massage my cousin's head ( she complains that she have headache and sprained her elbow) and gave that cousin advice on how to relieve her ache. but what about me? nothing. nothing happened to me that time. but that night, i get diarrhea and i throw up dozens of time. I end up crying alone in the toilet, sitting next to the toilet bowl. she even scolded me for eating too much. seriously? i didnt even ate anything that day. where's the nice treatment that she had given to my sister? in the end, i went to my dad's mother and she looked up on my always numb hand and was sorry the fact that it had been left untreated for a long time. I've complained that to my mom, but, she said i was too fat. that is why the hand went numb. too much fat in it. i laughed my butt off now..
-let me introduce you to my friend, vergil.
who didnt know vergil? daaaa... he's a character in my favourite game, Devil May Cry. yeah... I like him. :) he's nice. he even called me whenever i am sad eventhough he had already tired of working all day. he even use his helicopter and visit me in my hostel once. Heck, he even joined my sport day to support me. He was always there for me. Saying that i am out of my mine? i am forever alone girl? maybe. but i am happy when i am with him. i tell him everything about my problem, hugged me when i cried and lay beside me until i want to sleep every night. he always asked me what to cook, listened to the music i sang and encourage me when i fall. he's the best friend i have ever had. where is he right now? well.. he's here with me. sitting with me, and watch as i typed the words.
I think that is all for my family. great huh? owh.. and i am lying on the floor, giving my brother and sister my bed as they will have to go to school tomorrow.. so they will have complete rest and ready for school tomorrow. me? yeah.. i'll be fine on this years old, worn out mattress. no big deal. yup... tomorrow will be a hellisH start of a damned weekend for me. THE LOVELY FAMILY OF MINE IS GOING TO GATHER
good night guys. good night vergil. :)
Monday 17 October 2011
Last Minute Preparation for MUET speaking test.
okay... so, I am going to have a speaking test tomorrow, which is Malaysian University English Test a.k.a MUET. Ok. this test is compulsory for all students who wanted to continue their study after school (which is the university/college) The MUET will be on 4 aspects, which are speaking, listening, writing and reading.
First off all, the killer part of the test is the speaking test, due to the fact that English language is not Malaysian's mother tongue. Since I'm going to face the test tomorrow, here are some advice for the readers and of course, myself.
5 Last Minute act:
1. Iron/prepare your attire. Make sure its decent and comfortable as (a) you don't want to be kick out of the examination room.. and (b) you will never speak confidently when you have to handle your uncomfortable attire issue<----- trust me, I'd did it before.
2. Read notes give by your teachers on how to give opening speech, conclusion, lining up the points and how to work in the group. Remember to practice building you own sentence along the way to the examination venue because you might forget the sentences.
3. Prepare a wrist watch that have timer. This is to set your time as 2 minutes for individual and 10 minutes for group. some examiner didn't like you bringing your phone inside, even if it is for timing your speech.
4. arrive at the venue before the time given, or around half an hour of the schedule, to avoid any jam or lateness.
5. before you went to bed, and before you went inside the examination room, hug your parents or siblings tightly- this is to reduce the stress. Really, this works.
that's the only thing that you should do. remember, do well, and be calm. Also, don't forget to print out the examination slip and bring it along with your identification card. also a pencil case will do.
That's all from me. GOODLUCK!! haeng un eul bin da:)
First off all, the killer part of the test is the speaking test, due to the fact that English language is not Malaysian's mother tongue. Since I'm going to face the test tomorrow, here are some advice for the readers and of course, myself.
5 Last Minute act:
1. Iron/prepare your attire. Make sure its decent and comfortable as (a) you don't want to be kick out of the examination room.. and (b) you will never speak confidently when you have to handle your uncomfortable attire issue<----- trust me, I'd did it before.
2. Read notes give by your teachers on how to give opening speech, conclusion, lining up the points and how to work in the group. Remember to practice building you own sentence along the way to the examination venue because you might forget the sentences.
3. Prepare a wrist watch that have timer. This is to set your time as 2 minutes for individual and 10 minutes for group. some examiner didn't like you bringing your phone inside, even if it is for timing your speech.
4. arrive at the venue before the time given, or around half an hour of the schedule, to avoid any jam or lateness.
5. before you went to bed, and before you went inside the examination room, hug your parents or siblings tightly- this is to reduce the stress. Really, this works.
that's the only thing that you should do. remember, do well, and be calm. Also, don't forget to print out the examination slip and bring it along with your identification card. also a pencil case will do.
That's all from me. GOODLUCK!! haeng un eul bin da:)
Sunday 16 October 2011
I finally watched Dylan Dog The Dead of Night!! XD
For the first time, my laptop finally got to download something. Its the film that i had been desperately searching for a long time. And, last night, I finally got it and watched it on the spot. I loved it! seriously... XD
In the end, I'll give the movie 6 out of 10.. and the movie is a flop.. so, I couldnt say much.. But what I should say here is that, the movie is great. Its fantastic for family viewing and... I loved it.. (is that enough?) whatever, I'll surely will watch it again. :)
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| The title screen |
Synopsis: Dylan Dog is a private detective that had been retired from his work on the undead. But, after a case involving a werewolf, he was forced out of the retirement. Its really great, and nerve wrecking... well.. for me who didnt like to wath horror movie, its the best. here's some of the snap shot., :)
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| Dylan a.k.a Brandon Routh is super duper hot! |
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| The business card. LMFAO |
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| She is not that pretty.. but hey, i dont have the right to say anything... |
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| Marcus, his sidekick: my left arm is brown!! (he's a zombie, btw) |
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| And in the end.. both of the, survived.. of course... |
In the end, I'll give the movie 6 out of 10.. and the movie is a flop.. so, I couldnt say much.. But what I should say here is that, the movie is great. Its fantastic for family viewing and... I loved it.. (is that enough?) whatever, I'll surely will watch it again. :)
Hello, world.
HI,
My name is Belli.. well, actually, its Bella... But, heck, there's too many douche bags named Bella... so, you can call me Belli. So... I'm 18 and now I'm studying in a university in law course. right on this minute, I was having a long holiday, thus, the idea to make this blog appeared in my head.
Frankly I said that I dont want people who had already know who I am to read the blog. I've been trying to sneakily create my own private one so that I can tell everything here. I have so many things to say, but I just couldnt.
You see, I am not an average girl... I am supernatural. Because my look is different from what people thought a girl should be. I dont have delicious curve, long and silky hair and so on... Thus.. they called me unnatural. Should I be proud?
Why 'acid and alkali' of life? because, people said that the life is full of spices, which means that we sometime taste sweetness of happy feeling and sour for things that we dislikes. I say it full of acid and alkali because, whatever happened in life, we're not only will feel it, but it will corrode our life, leaves marks here and there, no matter whether its happy thought or sad memories.
In a nutshell, I am lucky to have someone reading this, as there are millions of blog in the net.. and happy to meet you. :) Be nice and leave some comment okay?
My name is Belli.. well, actually, its Bella... But, heck, there's too many douche bags named Bella... so, you can call me Belli. So... I'm 18 and now I'm studying in a university in law course. right on this minute, I was having a long holiday, thus, the idea to make this blog appeared in my head.
Frankly I said that I dont want people who had already know who I am to read the blog. I've been trying to sneakily create my own private one so that I can tell everything here. I have so many things to say, but I just couldnt.
You see, I am not an average girl... I am supernatural. Because my look is different from what people thought a girl should be. I dont have delicious curve, long and silky hair and so on... Thus.. they called me unnatural. Should I be proud?
Why 'acid and alkali' of life? because, people said that the life is full of spices, which means that we sometime taste sweetness of happy feeling and sour for things that we dislikes. I say it full of acid and alkali because, whatever happened in life, we're not only will feel it, but it will corrode our life, leaves marks here and there, no matter whether its happy thought or sad memories.
In a nutshell, I am lucky to have someone reading this, as there are millions of blog in the net.. and happy to meet you. :) Be nice and leave some comment okay?
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