Stop! just.. STOP!

I'm going to be rude this time. heck, i dont even care. what should a mom do, actually? if i asked people... (well, kind, perfect family people) they will say, a mother is the one that will love us. and took care of our needs and the one that we should obey to. -____-*

really??! well, good bye then, because i dont think what to say about mine. seriously.. SERIOUSLY! I'm tired of being scolded at, I'm tired of being hoping that something good will happen. I'm even tired of crying my lungs out. I'm tired of living this life any more.

I have other siblings that i think are... very lucky, than me. right now, i'm having 7 weeks holiday. and guess what? I'm 'holiday-ing' in my mom's shop, working the shit out of me, and end everyday, exhausted, break-hearted, aching all over and get scolded. Every single fucking day. I just thought of how i could use my scholarship money and went to have a break somewhere quiet. but, wait. yup.. i dont have any.. because i gave it all to mom.

lets say that.. we're not living a nice life in this family. both of my parents are a government worker, loaded with debts all over.. and we just make it on opening a FURNITURE(the reason why, i ached all over) shop in the end of the world. we have 6 members of the family,  and.. yes, we have barely enough food to eat. (p.s: the shop was open under the sponsor of one of mom's brother, the one  who gave me this laptop, and to repay his kindness, i was supposed to stand with his sick jokes on me everytime, for the rest of my life.)

so, thats my life. want to know what i've gone through the whole day that made me wanted to run away?? well... i woke up with a scream from my sister on 6 am, telling that i have to go to the shop for some cleaning with mom at 7 am. (alright, alright, i'm up) then, spend 2 hours, waiting for my parents to prepare everything, in instant, was ordered to iron my dad's shirt and my bro's uniform. then to the shop, went back at 12, after having a compulsory break fast of nasi lemak, I was ordered to wash and dry the clothes.
then, i was sent to the shop again, waiting and have to answer my younger siblings on why they didnt have their lunch.

i couldnt make it. i was in a hurry and the fridge is empty. all i can cook if i have the time is fried eggs and onions, as usual. with them, i fished out the little pocket money that i have left and settle down on instant noodle. after that, i worked as both of them sitting, watching movies in the laptop.

i didnt stop until 10 minutes before mom arrived from work. there, she looked at me like I was sitting there doing nothing. I was disappointed. really, i am. she promised me before she want to work, to buy my favorite fried rice with chicken, butt it left with hope. i'm supposed to prepare for it.. but stupid me, i didnt, and i was given a scoops of plain fired rice, with she gave the whole containers for other member. she bought 4 containers, giving the leftover from my sister to me, 3 whole to dad, big bro and lil bro, each and she had eaten at school.

and, you know what?? i am very hungry that time, i felt disappointed and i whispered to my sister, saying that how could mom do this to me. she replied, she wanted you to diet.  I said, i dont fucking care about that. i swallowed the rice without even chewing them. on that way, i can only feel full. now, i was sitting on my bed, locking my door, fearing that mom will call me again, and order me to do works.

you dont know how much i felt pain in this family.